Transferring Mindsets

After thoughts of leaving Kenyon, a sophomore reflects on her decision to stay.

Date

The common application — if you’ve ever been on this dreaded website, you likely shuddered seeing its name written out. Not to one-up all the one-time common app users, but I endured the pain of common app TWICE. Luckily, during my first go-around in high school I only applied to two schools, one of them being Kenyon.

I never understood what people meant when they said they just knew somewhere was their place until I stepped onto Kenyon’s campus. I had been on a string of college visits all throughout the summer and was, truthfully, exhausted. Kenyon was just another quick stop on the list: an excuse to hop out of the car and walk around for a little. I thought I’d wanted to go to a big school, but when I stepped on campus my vision turned panoramic — that's the only way I could describe it. It was like I unlocked part of my perception. I’d never had the experience of feeling welcome as a foreign person, but that's exactly how I felt as I walked down Middle Path for the first time.

I decided to apply Early Decision, but the anxiety surrounding that decision isn't something to be ignored. For me, the anxiety lingered much longer than I could have imagined.

Cat Yost '26

I'm not much of a waver, even now. But the thing that solidified my decision was feeling like I was actually welcome as a visitor. I could go as far as to say I didn't feel like a visitor at all. Students waving, smiling, excited to share the beauty of Kenyon with anybody willing to listen. There was a certain glow about them that I just had to embody. I decided to apply Early Decision, but the anxiety surrounding that decision isn't something to be ignored. For me, the anxiety lingered much longer than I could have imagined. 

Remember how I said I endured Common App twice? Well…I almost transferred. Not exactly the love story usually plastered on school websites. But life isn't a movie with a streamlined storyline, and neither is my love for Kenyon. They say you don't realize how much you love something until you have to fight for it. That's exactly how I made my decision to stay. 

I grew up commuting to New York City for high school, surrounded by millions of strangers. I consider myself a bit of an introvert, and thrive off blending into a crowd. I wasn't used to having eyes on me, having people wave at me while walking down the street, or even general hospitality. Even though this was something that initially drew me to Kenyon, having anything new swarm you can get overwhelming, even kindness. I loved the cold nature of the city: no expectations, just my own judging eyes to appeal to.

Going into college I knew I wanted a change, and Kenyon was just that. Here, you can't exactly choose to blend in. While at Kenyon, you're only 0.0005% of the population and everything is much more magnified. Honestly, my first semester was rough. Having to adjust to being known is a big change. You can no longer just sit in public and sink into the crowd. Your peers, classmates, and professors are the crowd — you know the crowd. Where I went wrong was trying to reject the crowd.

The beauty of a place like Kenyon is that everyone chooses to be here. People don't choose Kenyon for Mount Vernon the way someone may choose another school for its surrounding city. You chose Kenyon for the community, and by rejecting that community I was rejecting the school. I, however, misplaced this rejection and thought that the perceived incompatibility was being thrown at me, not the other way around. So, when I chose to endure the dreaded common app again I gunned straight for the big cities…and I got in. 

I found out that I had options halfway through my second semester, and I was struck with a conglomeration of emotions. I still couldn't exactly describe to you how I felt those last few months on campus not knowing if I would choose to make them my last. But knowing I could make them my last, I chose the “f it” attitude. That was when things shifted.

“I vividly remember my political science professor and I deep-diving into an hour-long discussion on nihilistic philosophy. She ended by saying, “Come back when you’re a sophomore, and we can finish this conversation over coffee.” I didn't know if I would be back. She didn't know I was thinking about leaving. But this was key in identifying, for me, how special Kenyon truly is.”

Catherine Yost '26

By throwing away my ego, I snapped back into reality. I talked to people I wouldn't normally talk to. I went to the club meetings my anxieties had previously stopped me from attending. I was finally walking around with a smile and embracing midwestern hospitality. Walking down wondrous Middle Path, having more friendly faces to wave to than ever made me feel loved, not exhausted.

Then something clicked into place: nobody cares. I know that seems harsh, but it's true. Nobody watches your life as closely as you do. By projecting my own judgment I lost the true beauty of Kenyon: the community. 

I began to reach out to my professors, something I’d been far too anxious to do before. I always struggled with academic authority. I was always too formal or not formal enough (in my head of course). But when I finally started going to office hours and discussing my questions with professors, I began to grow bonds beyond the student friendships that I couldn't see myself without. I vividly remember my political science professor and I discussing my final paper and deep-diving into an hour-long discussion on nihilistic philosophy. It was about 10 p.m. by the time we snapped back into reality. She ended by saying, “Come back when you’re a sophomore, and we can finish this conversation over coffee.” I didn't know if I would be back. She didn't know I was thinking about leaving. But this was key in identifying, for me, how special Kenyon truly is.

On my last day at work before summer break, my boss asked if I was coming back to campus next year. I had confided in her about my struggles and she knew the whole situation. Throughout the year, we had grown close. She kept it real: having two kids who also attended Kenyon, she saw the same struggles I was experiencing before I knew what a struggle was. Her presence was a guiding light in making my decision. I couldn't imagine having another job on another campus with another boss. I auto-responded with a cheeky “See you in the fall.” 

I hadn't fully made up my mind, but I think I always knew that I would come back. The connections with my friends, professors, co-workers, and the community as a whole helped me to fully understand why Kenyon initially made me see panoramically, and I started to see that way again.

Coming back as a sophomore, I've tried to embody the “f it attitude.” The sun shines a little brighter in Gambier now that I've let myself become one with the crowd. Kenyon is more than an institution: it's a community of intellectual, empathetic, and friendly individuals, and the small campus allows for everyone to play their role. I am Kenyon, I love Kenyon and I couldn't imagine a college experience anywhere else.